150 More Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever

150 More Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever 548 And all of these really happened. Don’t miss the Top 10 at the bottom. Enjoy! From CareerBuilder.ca’s study via Mainstreet.com: Resume delivered in a balloon A four-page resume detailing every position and volunteer job a person has ever had since he was 12 Each line had one bold word that formed a “hidden” message about how great the applicant would be for the position [The resume was] Scrawled in pencil on butcher’s paper Listed “Have flown on a corporate jet” as a notable achievement A resume etched into a wooden cutting board Many small teddy bears and daisies adorned the edges of the pink paper (used for the resume) Listed “Worked with my dad building things. Worked with my mum cleaning the house,” as past experience From Business Insider’s HR Execs’ 13 Most Common Resume Blunders: “Extensive experience in pubic financing.” “Please find the attached resume that highlights all my kills.” From CareerBuilder.com’s 2012 Study of Outrageous Resume Mistakes: Candidate called himself a genius and invited the hiring manager to interview him at his apartment. Candidate applying for a management job listed “gator hunting” as a skill. Candidate specified that her resume was set up to be sung to the tune of “The Brady Bunch.” Candidate’s resume had a photo of the applicant reclining in a hammock under the headline “Hi, I’m _____ and I’m looking for a job.” Candidate listed “to make dough” as the objective on the resume. Candidate applying for an accounting job said he was “deetail-oriented” AND spelled the company’s name incorrectly. From Huffington Posts’s 21 Funny Resumes Cover Letters: Actor’s resume specified a role in “The Departed” directed by Martin Scoresissers. Candidate listed experience as a “Marijuana Dealer and Nefarious Dude” “Objective: Ideal position would be businessman, with $18,000 to $250,000 in salary…” “Previous Work Experience: Skateboarder from 1980’s to present time. Job duties include hanging out with friends, drinking, smoking, doing tricks such as ollying…” Work Experience: “fileing files” “I’m fresh our [sic] of university with a childish sense of wonder and 100RPM sense of drive.” Hobbies: Eyebrow tweezing From CareerBuilder.com’s 2013 Study of Outrageous Resume Mistakes: Resume didn’t include the candidate’s name. Resume listed the candidate’s online video gaming experience leading warrior “clans,” suggesting this passed for leadership experience. Resume included time spent in jail for assaulting a former boss. Resume listed the candidate’s objective as “To work for someone who is not an alcoholic with three DUI’s like my current employer.” Resume consisted of one sentence: “Hire me, I’m awesome.” Resume was submitted from a person the company just fired. Resume included pictures of the candidate from baby photos to adulthood. On the job application, where it asks for your job title with a previous employer, the applicant wrote “Mr.” From AskReddit’s What Is The Most Unique/Outrageous Thing Someone Has Put On A Resume: (Someone commented: “Reading this thread just boosted my hopes of employment by like 200%”) Under ‘Have you ever been convicted of a felony’: “Yes… Arson. Will explain in interview.” “One applicant tried to make an impression by using four different fonts, three ink colors and a variety of highlighting options on her résumé” Last job: Plumber. Reason for leaving: “Couldn’t plumb.” “I received one that was 5 pages long once. The reason why it was that long was because when she put down that she worked at [pizzeria name] as a “Pizza Maker” she listed each step of making a pizza as a separate job duty” “I was interviewing a guy, and I asked him a question about his Master’s degree he had on his resume. His response? ‘Oh I don’t have my Master’s degree yet â€" I just plan on getting it someday.'” Under skills: “calculator on sight” Under management experience: “Dungeon Master” “A guy that just sent in a 8.5×11? photo of him standing next to a limousine. No explanation given.” “An applicant listed “sarcasm” as a hobby/skill/interest. He got the job… One of the best employees I’ve ever had.” “My biggest hobby is dishwashing” “I have had experience in logic programming, basic software creation, bear wrestling, and am fluent in C++.” “I was handed a CV which said ‘one of the UK’s top mountaineers praised my stamina'” “He lists one of his qualifications as fluent in English with 20 years of experience… he lists his age as 19.” “Guy wrote his entire resume and application IN RHYME.” “I enjoy doing repetitive things like filing and photocopying” Job Experience: Hymen Checker on Australian Sheep Farm. “When I asked him about it he said he just wanted to see if people actually read his resume.” Wage desired: “menemum” “I once received a resume that discussed, in great detail, a car accident the candidate had been in. It even included a diagram that showed where each passenger had been sitting.” “A mom came in with her son to fill out a job application. She turned it in for him as well as filled in everything for him. Under the “Other” portion she wrote ‘I am the oldest of three kids so I know how to be in charge.'” “I had a guy apply for a position at my work and on his application in the sex box he put ‘yes please’.” “Being on the cover of 2006 Time Magazine.” (when it was a computer with the word ‘You’ on screen) Interests: “eating, smoking, smoking weed, playing cod.” “Someone handed me a seven page resume, with a title page. Each page had different fonts and margins, and on the fourth page the margin started right in the middle of it. Not to mention that for most of it, she wrote her job experience, pressed enter about 16 times, and then put her next job.” Achievement: Master of Marital Arts (it was a kid) “A dude included his personal website URL, which had rantings about beating women and the elderly.” “Someone applying to my friend’s lab had noted his email was ‘idontstealbeakers@domain.com'” “The guy had an entire section devoted to gaming achievements. Where a normal person might have “Volunteer Experience” or something of that nature, he had “Gaming achievements”. Everything from WoW guild to Tetris High scores.” “Had a friend interviewing for a graphic arts position. One of the pieces in the interviewee’s portfolio, was actually one of the interviewers’ old projects.” (Ouch!) “One day a young man came in and dropped off his resume. Apparently, he was a rapper and a skateboarder. On his resume, he had listed: Hobbies- Raping and scating.” “I also had someone upload a resume to our HRIS database. When I opened the file, it was just a camera phone self-shot of himself staring into his bathroom mirror.” “Applicant didn’t include any contact information, other than a Twitter account.” “An applicant for an internship in my office concluded his cover letter with ‘And that’s why I would make a great addition to the Burger King family.'” Skills: “Can make perfect velociraptor call.” “Had someone put on their resume they were able to cook minute rice in 58 seconds. I laughed because I’ve seen this on the internet dozens of times and knew that’s where he got it from.” “I was once asked if I had any unique skills. Instead of saying I apprenticed as a locksmith for a summer, ‘I’m really good at picking locks.’ Did not get that job.” Best followup comment: “Well you’re still going to get in anyway.” ” I knew a girl who ended up in a relatively popular viral video that was pretty embarrasing. I proofread her resume and noticed she put it on it.” “Someone writing the entire résumé without a single capital letter.” “cleaned up after every shift” ( …but without the ‘f’) “Visa to work in the US?” Applicant wrote “no, Mastercard.” Applicant listed the address of each company she worked for but none of their names. “I always staple at exactly a 45 º angle.” “A 17 year old kid who applied for a camera operator job and had multiple pages on his resume listing all the DVD commentaries that he’d listened to.” “On two separate occasions people have come into my office, handed the receptionist their resumes and asked for her to make a copy because it was their ‘last one.'” “interviewed a young mechanical engineer major who listed training her cat to use the toilet as an achievement” “a guy put his P90x certification under certifications on an IT resume” “At the end of every line he would write either a superscript plus or a superscript minus.” “First thing on this guy’s job history was ‘World Class Amigo'” “I don’t need maternity leave like a woman. I don’t go shopping on my lunch breaks like a woman. I don’t have mood swings once a month like a woman. I don’t gossip about people like a woman.” On a cover letter : “I had a dream last night, and GOD told me that I will get this job, and this is what is right for me” “Speaking in English was listed as a hobby.” “He had no college education, so in the space on the application for college and on his resume he put the Latin for “no college education.” It sounded very fancy and prestigious in Latin, so he got the job.” “He took the advice of fitting your resume on one page a little too seriously. It started at size 14 font and worked its way down to a size 8 at the bottom like an optometrist chart. Just a huge block of unreadable text.” “One guy went on length about how he helped build the international space station as an intern. Did he mean helped in it? No, he claimed to literally be on the floor while the pieces were being manufactured and was sent to various countries to oversee the process… all during a summer internship.” “Please do not call my last employer as a referenceâ€"he was the owner of the small company I worked for, and I was involved with him. His wife learned of this. I was fired to save his marriage, and he will not give a fair recommendation. Please feel free to contact [an employment 6 years prior before being unemployed for 4 years].” “I was working at Staples at the time and someone dropped off a resume at the front. Glancing at it, near the top of the resume it said, ‘I would be very grateful for an opportunity to work in your store. If I could choose any department to work in, it would be deli.'” “My father worked in management at large power plant construction projects. He once received a 15 page resume. It contained diagrams of equipment the applicant had used and diagrams of equipment he has seen in use. All the diagrams had their components labeled, using names that he made up since he did not know most of the correct terms.” “I put ‘buffalo enthusiast’ figuring nobody ever reads my hobbies sections. First question in my last interview, ‘what is a buffalo enthusiast’?” “Years ago I was a manager at a telemarketing office. A mid-40’s woman came in with a resume that had been made with pencil crayons. It had flowers and rainbows drawn on it. Every other letter was done in different colours. Needless to say she is now in management.” Skills: Magic the Gathering “Corporate relations director at his fraternity” “A guy had put down that he could pull off a 95% world record pace at jumping jacks.” evalOne graphic designer candidate’s portfolio was was filled with projects done at her last job, by other people. “On his resume was a huge picture of his face. It took up at least 40% of the page. Under his face were his credentials in what must have been at least 8pt font size.” “’10 years Java experience’… In 2002.” (Java was launched in 1995) Under his computer skills section: Tiger Woods Golf “Applicant for retail management job put on his résumé he won a medal in Taekwondo in the 1988 Olympics. A quick Internet search revealed that he did not.” “a woman left a resume with her head shot on the back and one of her skills was ‘riding a bicycle’.” “My manager handed around a resume that someone had submitted where it was painfully obvious that the applicant had looked up every other word in a thesaurus and chose the longest potential synonym he could find.” “I had two guys apply for laborer/operator positions, they sent one email with both of their contact information and resumes attached. The resumes were identical, except for the names. “ Last job: owned own business. Reason left: fired. “a resume that included a picture in the upper left hand corner of the applicant. The applicant was sitting on her bed in umbros, eating a sandwich.” “This girl emailed me her resume with the name Addison Sheffield, I replied that is a great name and I love the Cubs and she was like, oh, actually my name’s Caroline but I do that to get more resume looks.” (Addison Sheffield are two of the streets bordering Wrigley Field in Chicago) Why do you want to work with us? “2 get dat $$$.” “Not a child molester.” Skills: “Yeah I got ’em” Main skills: creativity, bravery, arrogance, cleverness and honesty. Special skills: “good with money, good working alone.” Reason for leaving last job: “fired for stealing.” “Detail-orientad” Career achievements: “having an Asian girlfriend” “this guy sent his resume to where I work… He attached a photo of himself posing in a tiny bathing suit holding a puppy.” Accomplishments: “I am a bomb expert” (foreigner applying for an engineering job in the US) “Someone applied to our startup with our company in his resume. Apparently he was telling other employers that he worked here and forgot to take it off.” “a kid wrote under Accomplishments: his mother had once interviewed famous serial killers.” “Can summon sea creatures within 15 feet of water (boiling or room temperature).” Under skills: “Walking â€" I am very good at this.” “I had a lady apply for a sales rep position and the first line in her resume was a career objective that stated that she wanted a career in nursing.” “guy had every line in his resume underlined” Under “areas of expertise”: “reliance on god for optimal results.” Under skills and accomplishments for a hotel accounting job applicant. “Over 3,000 cremations in 4 years.” “invented Gmail before Google.” Reason for leaving: “Husband was boss, left me for waitress.” Under the “Experience” section: Sexual Assault Advocate. “I want to be an astroaught but think working in a call center will help me gain confidence in talking to mission control from space” References: “God” Hobby: “petting my dog” Traits: “good looking” “One resume at my work replaced the entire cover letter with a stock photo of a sunset.” “A copywriter called us and asked if we had an FTP to upload her resume to because her cover letter wasn’t attaching to email correctly…. It was an MP3 of her reading her cover letter.” Strengths: “Really good at Lego” Weaknesses: “Bullets” “Fluent in Ebonics” Other Qualifications: “Have only missed 3 child support payments.” “A 398-page resume with links to an African man’s musings on life and how Gold Eagles have secret powers to save us.” Others A young woman wrote her resume in black marker on her bare back and sent a picture of it (Dana Leavy-Detrick) “He proudly presented a worn index card written in dull pencil to represent what I was to accept as his resume. Only the front of the card was filled.” (HRMorning) Candidate sent his resume in the form of an oversize Rubik’s Cube, where you had to push the tiles around to align the resume. (He was hired!) (Jobs.aol.com) “I’m the best in the world at: Reading Comprehension” (Buzzfeed) “I’m the best in the world at: Chivalry” (Buzzfeed) “I can do 75 push ups in a row” (For an IT job â€" and he got hired!) (AskReddit) JobMob Top 10 Candidate’s cover letter talked about her family being in the mob. (CareerBuilder.ca) “If there was one word to describe me it would be ‘Da-bomb’.” (HuffPost) Under hobbies/interests: “Simulating earthquake by shaking table” (AskReddit) “I’m a natural winner. Before I was even born I won a competition against millions of fellow spermatozoids…” (AskReddit) “My English fluent.” (AskReddit) Applicant listed experience as a “Cock, Food Prep/Pizza Maker” (HuffPost) Candidate claimed to be able to speak “Antartican” when applying for a job to work in Antarctica. (CareerBuilder.com) “I promise to make your store 10000000000000000000000000000000000 dollars” (HuffPost) Have you ever been convicted of a felony? “Not yet” Reason for leaving last job: “Mexico” Bonus From ABCNews:eval “I was looking for a job, and I wanted to learn Microsoft Word on the computer. So I was messing around with it one day, and my husband at the time was in the room, arguing with me. So I wrote “Fâ€" YOU” really big in different colors and fonts, playing around, learning [the program]. I saved it under ‘doc1.’ “A couple of days later, I completed my resume on Word and saved it as “res1.” Well, I was talking to this woman about a job, and we hit it off. She said to send my resume, so I did. A day later she wrote back, “Same to you.” I didn’t know what that meant until I opened the attachment I sent her and realized I sent her ‘doc1’ instead of ‘res1.'”eval READ NEXT: Our original classic, 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever